He Hasn't Called in Four Days!

If He’s Not Talking too Me, then Who?

Here in my native city, I help people that are having relationship troubles. My blog is about the different people I help, with their different questions, and other stories that are related to what I do. I do not include names, I do not include personal information, I only include the question and my answer.

I had a person that contacted me and we met up at a local coffee shop. The question under discussion was, “We’ve been together for nine months now and communication is becoming rare. Now, I haven’t heard from him in four days! What could be going on?”

Well there are different things that could be going on. Since the relationship is relatively fresh, there are multiple options, but here are a few I’ve highlighted:

1. He could be going through a hard time. Some people like to keep their personal business to themselves. If something major is going on, he may not want you too know for whatever reason that may be.
2. Maybe he doesn’t know what he wants. I hate to be completely blunt, but it could very well be the reason he is ignoring your calls and messages. He may be taking this time right now to think about if being in this relationship is the best thing for him or for what he wants at this point in time. If this is the case then this is the time you need to give him space.
3. Ask mutual friends about how he’s doing. After nine months, it’s safe to say you’ve met his friends and are in his “circle.” If not, this was doomed to start.
4. Some people don’t realize how their actions (or in this case, lack of), damages a person. To this person, communication is everything. Some people can go until the weekend to finally hear from the person they’re dating. We all know communication is key to a relationship, but some people just don’t work that way. Instead of sending messages like “Hey” or “What’s up?,” send a message that tells how you feel. Try, “I need to communicate with you.”
5. Some people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone. If you’re messaging the guy about your feelings and you’re asking him about his, you’re going at it all wrong. Some guys don’t talk about feelings. When all else fails, and you feel like this relationship has taken a turn for the bad, jump start his brain with the ultimatum. Tell him it’s over if you can’t talk too him. He needs to understand how important it is to you.
6. It could be possible he has met someone else. If you have talked to him on a daily basis up until this point, something has happened. Maybe someone else has taken the space in his inbox of text messages or has a new special ring tone on his phone.
7. If all this fails, end it. With the stress this is putting on you, the best thing for you to do is to look out for yourself. The gut feeling that something out of the norm is happening should help you find your answer, even if you don’t want to believe it.

I hope these have given you a view of what could be going on while communication is off in a relationship. I know some of it is blunt, but sometimes that is the only way to be. The truth hurts, but it’s better to swallow a hard pill now than deal with lie after lie in the end.